Request Newsletter | Bridal Online Website | Return To Main Page
| |
| |
|
Marriage & Wedding Information |
|
|
|
Marriage Advice: Twelve Steps to Creating an Affair-Proof Marriage
There's no way to absolutely guarantee that your marriage won't be blindsided by an affair on your part or your spouse's, but there are definite steps you can take to greatly reduce the probability of that happening. It's important to know what you can do to strengthen your marital connection and keep your marriage vibrant and healthy. A rewarding, satisfying marriage that meets the needs of both partners is your best protection against the destructive intrusion of an affair. So what can you do to "affair proof" your marriage as much as possible? The following twelve steps will guide you in building a stronger marriage partnership and help you and your spouse to withstand the lusty lure of temptation: 1. Make your relationship with your spouse your top priority in the hierarchy involving family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, and others. Make a real commitment of time, energy, and effort to your marriage. You can end up pulled in so many different directions and over-extended that your most valuable and precious relationship can end up at the bottom of the list unless you make it a top priority. 2. Nurture the emotional intimacy in your marriage. Make time to talk each day, not just about the events that have happened, but also about your feelings. Share on an emotional level-your fears, your frustrations, your joys, your disappointments, and your challenges. Let your partner know how much you value being able to talk to him or her about anything and to connect on a deep level. 3. Show appreciation on a regular basis. Be generous with compliments and thank you's. Tell your spouse at least once a week how much you appreciate him or her and list the qualities that you love, admire, and respect. Don't worry that you've said these things before-no one gets tired of hearing their good traits praised! 4. Spend time together doing fun things and just "hanging out." Bonding can deepen when you and your spouse have unstructured time to just relax and hang out together. If every minute of your time together is tightly scheduled and rushed, you'll miss out on opportunities to be spontaneous. Look for fun things to do-a picnic in the park, a hike, trying a new restaurant, going out dancing, or going swimming. 5. Keep your sex life active. Sometimes being sick or fatigued gets in the way of sexual desire, as does family stress like caring for an ill or aging parent. Certainly the energy and time required to raise children can leave parents drained and "on empty." In spite of these challenges, it's essential to make time for sex. The sobering reality is that most spouses are more vulnerable to flirtations and sexual advances from others when their sex life is unhappy at home. 6. Discuss and resolve issues as they come up. Don't just bury them or neglect trying to resolve them. Learn how to disagree without being disagreeable and causing long-term damage to your relationship. Above all-communicate, communicate, communicate. Keep the communication door wide open at all times. 7. Talk about the problem of infidelity and know that it can strike any marriage. Bring the subject out into the open and express your feelings and deepest fears. Brainstorm with your spouse about how you can keep your marriage strong and what the two of you think would be helpful in preventing an affair from happening. Commit to telling your spouse if you feel vulnerable or if things start getting out of control in any situation. 8. Share goals for the present and future that inspire you. When you and your spouse share common goals that you're passionate about, you will feel closer to each other and more connected. It helps you to feel like a real team. The feeling of partnership is important in deepening commitment to each other. Whatever your mutual dream is, the passion you bring to pursuing it can draw you closer together. 9. Make wise decisions about contact with the opposite sex at work and other settings. You may encounter special situations and temptations on business trips or at business parties or in your work setting. Talk frankly with your spouse and agree on what you both feel comfortable with. If your spouse is on a business trip and the group goes out dancing, will you be upset if your spouse participates? Plan ahead and head off potential problems. 10. Know the danger signals. Many affairs have started with individuals sharing intimate personal information with each other on a regular basis while not confiding in their respective spouses. Intimacy can mushroom quickly when secrecy is involved and a feeling of connection develops. Other danger signals are having increased sexual excitement about seeing someone in particular, being in settings with lots of alcohol and drinking when your spouse isn't present, and being more vulnerable than usual due to feelings of loneliness, rejection, or anger at your spouse. 11. Celebrate your love, anniversaries, birthdays, and other special occasions. Value your marriage and take advantage of every opportunity to celebrate, such as your wedding anniversary, the date that you met, your spouse's birthday, and any other special days that the two of you share. This helps to keep the romance alive and also to keep your connection strong. Celebrate your love, your time together, your plans for the future, and the priceless present moment. 12. Support each other's goals. Make a commitment to help your spouse be all that he or she is capable of being. Your marriage is only strengthened when each of you is happy and fulfilled with your life. It's to your advantage to help your spouse reach goals that are important to him or her, even if they aren't your particular goals. Be positive and encouraging of your spouse's desires to live up to his or her potential. Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com, where you can also sign up for the free weekly Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get ideas and support for improving your marriage.
MORE RESOURCES:
Wedding - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
The Wedding Guests Guide to A Stress Free and Fun Wedding Most brides become obsessed with throwing the perfect wedding. The bride-zilla persona takes over and can cause incredible pressure and strain on all involved. 6 Ways to Save Money on Wedding Invitations Inviting your possible guests on your wedding day can be costly. You have to give them traditional wedding cards to inform them of the date and venue, and possibly those cards are made of elegant or high quality papers and other materials that might cost a lot. Planning a Maui Wedding Just as there are a variety of wedding packages available, Maui wedding planning is also packed with many possibilities. So many people come here to get married that the choices of wedding planners to take care of all the arrangements are as diverse as the choices of wedding. Extreme Age Differences In Marriage Can Lead To Infidelity "Extreme age differences between husband and wife may lead to infidelity" says author and infidelity expert, Ruth Houston, who was recently quoted in an article in First magazine. Houston's comments were included in the sidebar of an article in the May issue of First entitled "The Surprising Way Women Are Turning Back the Clock," which discusses the pros and cons of marriages and relationships in which the woman is considerably older or younger than the man. Todays Wedding Is Brought To You In Association With ... With the cost of today's weddings spiraling to astronomical levels, some couples are now looking for sponsorship to help them have the big day that they have always dreamed of. This new trend of "selling out" on your big day has recently hit America by storm. Family Law A frustrating lack of permanence plagues modern relationships. Approximately one of every two marriages ends in divorce and the average length of a marriage before divorce is only five years. Emotional Infidelity: A KEY Tactic to Save the Marriage Hearing that your cheating spouse is "in love" with someone else is devastating. I hear often, "I can handle her having sex with someone else. How to Choose the Perfect Headpiece and Veil for Your Facial and Body Features All brides want to be beautiful on their wedding day, and often it is easy for them to picture themselves in a wedding gown. But once something is placed upon the head, the whole perception of self-image is altered. The History of Engagement Rings and Wedding Bands These days, many people take wedding bands and engagement rings for granted, and although they give these beautiful items of jewellery with integrity and love, they are often given with no real knowledge of the meaning behind them.Both wedding bands and engagement rings are very special items of jewellery; in fact, they are more than just jewellery - they are the symbols of many emotions and promises such as:LoveCommitmentFidelityEternityHonour But where - and why - did these popular and sentimental pieces of jewellery stem from?The History Of Wedding BandsThese items of jewellery have a history that spans many centuries and passes through many countries from all around the planet. Flower Girl Flowers There are many options available to adorn your flower girl with flowers! Here are some creative ideas to consider for the flower girl in your wedding party.A popular idea is to have your flower girl carry a decorative basket with rose petals. Unhappy Marriage: Should You Stay or Leave? There's no one simple answer to the question that I'm often asked, "Should I stay in my marriage, even though I'm unhappy, or should I leave?" It's impossible to give a "one size fits all" response because every marriage is different.But there are some general guidelines that you can consider if you're in this situation. Bridal Accessories To Complete Your Wedding Look Bridal accessories are as necessary to complete the bridal look, as packaging is to a wedding gift. The wedding gown would be incomplete without matching wedding accessories. Make Your Honeymoon an Everlasting Experience Honeymoon is the most wonderful time of every couple's life. It is a time to move away from all the hustle and bustle and to relax in the arms of your partner in your own world. What Makes The Best Wedding Anniversary Gift? Choosing a wedding anniversary gift that wows your husband or wife can rate high on your anxiety list; your anniversary is an occasion where the thought counts even more than the gift. The idea that your loving spouse should "know what I want" can lead to disappointed expectations, as men and women tend to have radically different ideas about what "romantic" means. Moissanite Engagement Rings - Find The Perfect Glam You're Looking For Wish to make that one day in your life really special? Let moissanite engagement rings work their charm. Affirm your commitment through the beauty of moissanite engagement rings. Wedding Colors Is it to be a summer wedding or winter wedding? Do you have a particular favourite color? Does the bridegroom have a pathalogical dislike for a certain color?These are all important questions when deciding your wedding color scheme. The color you decide on will influence your dress color, the grooms outfit, the decoration at the reception, your flowers, the bridesmaid dresses. Cancun Honeymoon Vacation - Pleasure Unlimited! The Cancun honeymoon vacation comes with its bagage of sweet promises of fulfilment and bliss for one and all. Lying in the lap of nature in the arms of your loved one is one of the many cherished experiences you would have in a Cancun honeymoon vacation. Getting Married? What You Should Do With Your Checking Accounts and Credit Cards Marriage is a wonderful thing, but planning the wedding is a difficult task. The coming together leaves many things as an afterthought to the wedding. Dance Music for the Wedding Reception The most enjoyable part of the wedding reception is the dance music. When choosing dance music for your wedding, you need to decide if you want the services of a DJ or a band for your wedding. Finding the Perfect Bridesmaid Gift The bridesmaid gift is essential to the planning of a wedding. While many may believe that a wedding is all about the bride, it is still important to show appreciation to your bridesmaids.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
