Request Newsletter | Bridal Online Website | Return To Main Page
| |
| |
|
Marriage & Wedding Information |
|
|
|
Irreversible
My husband had two affairs last year. I am pretty confident he is not cheating now, and we are seeing a marriage counselor. He has changed much since I found out what he was doing. He put our property in my name and bought me a $12,000 diamond ring. He is affectionate to me most of the time. I believe this is proof that he loves me. The problem is I also have proof that he does not love me because he had affairs. So I have proof he loves me and proof he does not love me. Our marriage counselor tells me his affair is in the past, and I agree. The problem of the past is that one second later everything is in the past. To me, saying it is in the past is just a way to excuse anything. You could do almost anything, and then later say it is in the past. If you drive drunk and kill someone, can you say it's in the past? Just because you do not drive drunk anymore you can never bring that person back to life. It may be in the past, but it has certainly destroyed the future. That is the problem. The therapist wants to focus on the present and future, and consider the affair in the past. If this is a way to move on, then my husband can do almost anything to me and later be forgiven. He can even plan to do something and say to himself later on it will be in the past. Because something happened before and is not happening now is not a good reason to think it will not happen again. For me, because something happened in the past, it is more reasonable to believe it will happen again. After all, if he had not cheated, there would be no past cheating and no reason to say "put it in the past." Kayla Kayla, your logic is correct, and your therapist's reasoning is incorrect. As human beings we have to forecast our future in order to understand what we should do today. Your forecast for the future has changed because your husband has sex with other women. His cheating is not in the past, because he can do it again. But there is one thing which is in the past. That one thing is fidelity in your marriage. Fidelity, the unbroken wedding vow, is in the past. It is gone and cannot be regained. Texas Justice Yesterday I caught my girlfriend of two years in bed with my now ex-friend. I walked in and caught them in the act. After beating the hell out of him, I told my girlfriend to go to our house and wait for me. Upon arriving home the question I kept asking is, "Why?" She says she doesn't know why. We went and saw a counselor that very same day. I told her we could work through this, but after sleeping on it I'm not sure I want to. I guess you could sign me "Cheated on in Texas." Roy Roy, most people who sleep on a problem wake up just as muddled as they were the night before. But in the course of one night, you gained the insight needed to grasp the end of your relationship. Why do you go to work? Why do you pay your bills? Why do you lock your truck in a bad neighborhood? You know why. When someone is caught doing what they know is wrong, the classic first answer is, "I don't know why." Why are there so many "innocent" people in jail? Because once you admit guilt, you must suffer consequences. If you claim innocence, there is a chance you might escape justice. Ultimately, why doesn't matter. What she did ends the relationship. What she did trumps why she did it. Tamara Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 15, 2004 About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
MORE RESOURCES:
Wedding - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Celtic Wedding Rituals -- Tying the knot One of the most elegant rituals you can choose for a wedding is the traditional Celtic hand fasting. After the vows, the bride and groom's wrists are bound together with five colored ribbons, each symbolizing an aspect of marriage and their shared commitment. Moissanite Bridal Rings -True Choice Of The Young Heart What best way can a bride think of rising to the very special occasion in her life, if that occasion does not have the glitter of jewelry in it! Brides today need not despair and give up hope if diamonds are outside their reach. Welcome to the world of moissanite bridal rings! Wondering what the price of moissanite bridal rings could be? Smile. You're Making Your Wedding List and Checking It Twice-What Have You Forgotten? Preparing for a wedding, large or small, is overwhelming! A way to combat that feeling is to break down the required tasks, divide the responsibilities and assign deadlines. Ok, all that is fine-but what have you forgotten?A wedding is a public affair, and it's everyone's fear that somewhere, somehow, despite all the planning, arrangements, expense, and hard work, something will happen to make one or more of the principles appear foolish in public. Should You Wear White? White is traditionally a symbol of purity and as it was, traditionally, every mans wish to marry a pure woman to be married in white was a sign that you were indeed pure and a "good catch".However in todays social climate that is no longer the case. Invitation Anatomy 101 - Optional Components II - Part 3 of 3 Almost there! This is the third lesson of my "Invitation Anatomy 101" list of articles. Remember, this article continues the listing of common Optional Components typically seen in invitations. What Being Best Man is All About Being a best man is like many duties you will undertake in your life no problem (even enjoyable) if you are fully prepared.Before we begin let's take a quick look at the origins of the role. Replacing Your Lost Wedding Ring Imagine it's Halloween evening and you've just gone to the door to greet another eager child with your big bag of trick-or-treat candy. You look down at the grinning costumed child with a smile and share some kind words as you throw a generous handful of tasty treats into his bag. What You Should Know About Buying Engagement Rings Online Buying engagement rings online doesn't have to be confusing or intimidating. In fact, the nice thing about shopping online is that you can browse several online stores without the hassle of traveling from store to store listening to endless sales pitches. Wedding Flowers: How It Emulates Your Personality Your wedding day, what is presumed to be the happiest day and the start of your new life. The excitement of all the preparations, and so many things to do to make it perfection. Personalized Wedding Favors Personalized wedding favors are among the most popular of gift selections made by brides and grooms to show appreciation to the guests sharing in their wedding day. Traditional ceremonies have made wedding favors a part of the celebration since the sixteenth century. The (American) Bride Wore Red Increasing numbers of American brides are thinking about doing the formerly unthinkable -- getting married in a bold red gown.Not that red is a stranger to marriage. Getting Married? Read this 1st. Original gift ideas for your Bridesmaids and Bestman.What better way to thank your bridesmaids than to give them a unique piece of jewelry they can treasure forever. How to Find The Perfect Wedding Dress You want the perfect wedding dress, so you have made it a major focus of your pre wedding planning. There are some things you need to find from the bridal shop, before you even look at your first gown. The Key to the Perfect Wedding There are many answers to this question, it all depends on who you ask. We all dream about our perfect wedding but each of us may hold a different view of what makes it perfect. A Call for International Marriage Laws I recently watched a CNN programme which centred on "kidnapped daughters" (from multicultural marriages) who were unwillingly given away in marriages in Islamic states by their fathers. Usually, the fathers were from these Islamic states. How to Select a Wedding Photographer Selecting a wedding photographer can be a daunting task. Not only does the photographer need to be able to produce outstanding memories of your wedding day but also has to be able to fit into the celebration and be highly professional every step of the way. When To Order and Send Your Wedding Invitations Wedding Invitations should be ordered when you have all the details of your wedding set? place, time of ceremony and reception as well as your guest list. Plan to place your invitation order at least 3-4 months in advance, some companies may require 4-6 months. Writing Your Wedding Vows the Way Poets Do Let's face it, not many of us have the kind of skills or experience to write truly poetic wedding vows. Or do we? Here's the truth: Even if you don't know Dylan Thomas from Bob Dylan, and you're pretty sure T. Capture Your Perfect Moment with a Wedding Website Not so many years ago, the proposition of a wedding website would be a thing of humor. For decades, wedding invitations created from custom stationary and mailed via snail mail has been the standard way of inviting guests to your ceremony and reception. Honeymooning on the Waves Cruising down the river was always deemed by couples the ultimate romantic date. You can't be much more together alone than when you're separated from the rest of the world by sheets and sheets of water.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
