Request Newsletter | Bridal Online Website | Return To Main Page
| |
| |
|
Marriage & Wedding Information |
|
|
|
Marriage Advice: Upgrade Your Marriage By Changing Your Focus
As the story goes, a Cherokee elder was sitting with his grandchildren. He told them, "In every life there is a terrible fight-a fight between two wolves. One is evil: he is fear, anger, envy, greed, arrogance, self-pity, resentment, and deceit. The other is good: joy, serenity, humility, confidence, generosity, truth, gentleness, and compassion." One of his grandchildren asked, "Grandfather, which wolf will win?" The elder looked him in the eye and replied, "The one you feed." This brief story contains a far-reaching truth. You choose which traits, attitudes, beliefs, and values you will give attention to. And what you focus on will grow and expand. For example, if you value honesty, this value will affect all of your dealings and interactions with others. If you nurture and "feed" resentment, it will eventually take over your life. Continually focusing on marriage problems makes the relationship seem even worse than it actually is. If you continually talk about how you've been done wrong and how angry you are at your spouse, your anger will grow and blot out your memories of more positive times. When that happens, you are unable to see a balanced picture. The more energy you devote to focusing on the negatives in your relationship, the worse and more hopeless everything seems. And when you're feeding your negativity, your creative energy is frozen. Thus, you don't have the ability to generate helpful options or a fresh perspective. You influence your perception of reality by the thoughts you think, the beliefs you hold, and the attitudes you cultivate. According to Katherine Mansfield, "Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would come to be different. Life would undergo a change of appearance because we ourselves had undergone a change of attitude." In each moment, you decide whether to make negative or positive interpretations about the events and people in your life. These interpretations shape your experience of reality and impact your capacity to be all you can possibly be. They also affect your expectations about what is possible. Choosing to develop qualities such as compassion, honesty, serenity, and joy can transform your marriage and your life. And choosing to reduce the resentment, anger, deceit, and fear in your life can lighten your emotional load and leave you will more energy to generate creative solutions to your marriage problems. As you become more positive, you bring more positive energy into your interactions with your spouse. When this happens, surprising things can happen in your marriage. The sharp, prickly edge of anger can start to soften between you and your partner. New insights and understandings about a situation can occur, and you can be more likely to find the middle ground of compromise. The following tips can assist you in training yourself to focus more on what's right with your marriage and your life: 1.Take the time each day to list the things that you are grateful for in your life. Remember to include the things people often take for granted, such as three meals a day, a hot shower, heat, a stove and refrigerator, running water, medical care, and friends. 2.Each day, remind yourself of your spouse's positive qualities and contributions to your life. Think back to what attracted you to your partner initially. Reflect on how your spouse has caused you to stretch and grow and on how much you've learned from the experience. 3.Write in your journal about what positive qualities in yourself you want to cultivate and develop. These are the attitudes, beliefs, and values that you want to focus on and encourage to take root, grow, and thrive in your life. 4.Visit a library or bookstore and select some inspirational reading material and inspirational tapes or CD's. Find the time each day to read or listen to something that is positive, encouraging, and inspiring. It's important to refill at the well of inspiration daily. 5.Spend less time with friends and family members who are negative and leave you feeling depressed and fatigued. There's a name for those individuals who drain your positive energy-"energy vampires." Instead, cultivate new friends who are positive, supportive, and encouraging and who bring out the best in you. Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available as an e-book at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com ,where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get weekly ideas and support to help you improve your marriage. Nancy can be contacted at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.
MORE RESOURCES:
Wedding - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Create A Beautifull Wedding Album With A Simple And Fun Way Hi If you are getting married or have a Bar Bat Mitzvah or special event then you should read this article. Many times people who have an important event hire a photographer, videographer wedding consultants, and or coordinators, florists, lino service, ect. Business Partners & Marital Partners Will The Marriage Survive - Part I With today's economy, and the layoffs occurring as a result of these economic conditions, more and more people are opting to start their own business. Due to the low start up costs, the prevalence of home-based businesses is on the rise, many of these started by husband and wife teams. Nevada Wedding Laws While you may be headed to Las Vegas for a quickie wedding or a prolonged celebration, take time to find out what the law requires before you buy that plane ticket. Each state's laws differ, and many couples get married in Las Vegas because the law allows them to marry quickly. How to Have a Sizzler of a Honeymoon! Article No. 6 It wasn't the wedding of the century. Six people in all arrived at St. Wedding Reception Entertainment - Choose Wisely When planning your wedding, what type of entertainment are you looking for? A comedian? A clown? A 3-ring circus? Of course not ? you are looking for high quality entertainment that is tailored to your vision for this once-in-a-lifetime event. Your wedding reception entertainment should tie together all the things you have been dreaming of for many, many months. Wedding Tips Weddings are made in heaven, they say, but they have to be organized on earth. For most of us wedding is a once-in-lifetime affair when someone most special becomes yours for the rest of your life. Wedding Favors Your Wedding Favors are a little bit of your wedding that your guests get to take away with them.What to hand out? What says my wedding? Is it sugared almonds or posies of flowers? These days the sky is the limit when it comes to Wedding Favors. Choosing the Perfect Wedding Gown Selecting a wedding gown is possibly one of the most exciting things for a bride to do. It's one of the most fun aspects of preparing your wedding. How To Choose The Right Wedding Bouquet Style Basically, there are three wedding bouquet styles. The cascade, round or posy, and hand-tied. The Monogram Theme Wedding Monograms are a huge trend in weddings, to the point where they feature strongly in some, and in others, provide the actual theme. And what's not to like about monograms? They're elegant, understated, versatile, and a dramatic visual reminder of your new life together. Tahiti Honeymoon Resorts: Fun-tastic Experience Tahiti honeymoon resorts are the best places you could think of when you think of a romantic and passion filled honeymoon. Tahiti is the picture perfect place for your honeymoon. Fun Dating Ideas to Spice up Your Marriage One of the best benefits of marriage is that you have a permanent dating partner. Don't let the fun end after the honeymoon. 6 Ways to Save Money on Wedding Invitations Inviting your possible guests on your wedding day can be costly. You have to give them traditional wedding cards to inform them of the date and venue, and possibly those cards are made of elegant or high quality papers and other materials that might cost a lot. The Enigma of Daytime Bachelor Party Activities As most of you know the evening festivities for a bachelor party are already pre-determined. They usually involve some combination of limos, nightclubs, and gentlemen's clubs. Symbolism of Wedding Rings "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed." -C. Celebrate With Butterflies - The Flying Flowers Make your upcoming event the most memorable ever by adding butterflies to your special day. Butterfly Releases are a perfect way to celebrate all of the important occasions in life. All that Glitters-Something Old, Something New... Brides through the ages have accessorized with wedding jewelry to add a finishing touch to their bridal attire; however, many brides who don't wear jewelry in everyday life jump at the chance to wear it on their wedding day. Is it the special occasion or the chance to play dress-up that prompts these brides to don the unthinkable-jewelry?Those brides too practical to care about jewelry in real life use it on their wedding day to check off all the "somethings" that bring good luck-something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. Doing Things Your Own Way No one said that you had to follow the rule or etiquette. It is your wedding day. Unique Beach Wedding Themes If you are considering a beach wedding, the ideas are as endless as your imagination!One thing about choosing a beach wedding theme is that it allows you total creative freedom. Depending on the time of day, the beach can set the mood. 3 Emerging Trends In Custom Invitations There is an overwhelming demand for high quality, custom stationery that really reflects the bridal couple's style, personality, and wedding. It doesn't stop at the wedding invitation set anymore! It seems every modern bridal couple is opting to have their entire stationery ensemble done by a custom invitation house.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
